《孔雀東南飛》原是語文課本中的一篇古文,但也被廣泛地用到了課本劇的改編之中,其中還有搞笑的版本。
《孔雀東南飛》(短劇英語劇本10人版)
Wanderseveryfivemiles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)強盜Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打狀跑上臺,內砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指著上臺處的門大聲道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(內砸出一臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕結束時,JM作偷聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I’mhere!What’supmum?
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”.
L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
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