英文幽默哲理小故事
1、 現在我要表現得像一位女士
One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.
一天，一家百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給他的太太挑選一件女裝。但是，沒過多久，他就發現自己已被瘋狂的女人們撞得踉踉蹌蹌。
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.
他竭力地忍耐著。后來，他低下頭，揮舞雙臂，擠過人群。
"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
“你干嘛?”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現得像一位紳士嗎?”
"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
“聽著，”他說。“我已經像紳士一樣表現了一個小時了。從現在起，我要表現得像一位女士。”
2、 晚飯后我從不工作
A penny-pinching farmer didn’t want his hired hand to stop working. One morning, he told the farmhand, “It’s such a nuisance to come in from the field, wash up for lunch and take time to eat. Why don’t we save time and eat lunch now?”
The hired man agreed. The farm’s wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes, and the two men ate again.
When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, “While we’re still at the table, let’s have supper too.” They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ate once more.
“Now that the meals are out of the way, ” the farmer announced, “we can go out and work all day without interruption. ”
“Oh, no,” the farmhand answered. “I never work after supper.”
一位農場主非常吝嗇，不想讓他雇傭的幫手停下來休息。一天早上，他對幫手說：“從地里回來，又要洗手吃飯，又花時間，真是太不方便了。我們何不省點時間，現在就吃午飯呢?”
雇員同意了。農場主的妻子端進來一些冷肉和油炸土豆。于是，兩個人又開始吃起來。
吃完后，吝嗇鬼說：“既然我們還在桌子邊，讓我們連晚飯也吃了吧。”這次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和雜燴青菜。于是兩個人又吃起來。
“現在三頓飯都吃過了，”農場主宣稱道，“我們便可以出去一整天不停地干活了。”
“哦，不，”那幫手回答說，“晚飯后我從不工作。”
3、Adding Feet to a Snake
One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals come and drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine. Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake. If you finish first, you can get it.
Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing. “Yeah, I’ve finished. I’m No.1,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isn’t a snake. Snakes have no feet. I get the wine.”
畫蛇添足
一天， 獅子先生舉行一場聚會，許多動物都來了，他們喝很多酒。最后只剩一壺酒了。讓誰喝呢?它們想了想，有個主意。它們比賽畫蛇，誰最快畫好，誰就喝這壺酒。
不一會，狼先生畫好了。“哈，我畫好了，我是第一個。”它說。可是它又畫了起來，它還說：“再給它加幾只腳吧。”這是猩猩先生也畫好了。它拿起那酒壺喝起來。一邊喝一邊說：“那不是蛇，蛇是沒有腳的.，我贏了這壺酒。”
4、It’s Good to Admit a Fault
John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.
“John!” Teacher says angrily.
“What? What’s wrong?” John is awaken.
“Why do you make a face? It’s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.
“No one is laughing.” Teacher says.
“No, it’s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.
“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.
認錯
約翰并不是個“好”學生。他總是在上課的時候睡覺。今天他又睡著了。
“約翰!”老師生氣地喊他。
“什么?出什么事了?”約翰醒了。
“你為什么要做鬼臉?這是教室!看看!同學們都在笑!”老師生氣地說。
“沒有人在笑呀。”其他同學笑聲地嘀咕。
“不，不是我。我沒有做鬼臉。剛才我睡著了。”約翰感到不安。
“嗯，還不錯。你承認自己的錯誤，還是給好孩子”老師為此感到滿意。
5、 I Don’t Want to Walk Home
Tom is a very old man. After dinner, he likes walking in the street. And he goes to bed at seven o’clock.
But tonight, a car stopped at his house. A policeman helps him get out. He tells Tom’s wife, “The old man couldn’t find his way in the street. He asked me to take him in the car.”
After the policeman leaves there, his wife asks, “Tom, you go to the street every night. But tonight you can’t find the way, what’s the matter?”
The old man smiles like a child and says, “I couldn’t find my way? I didn’t want to walk home.”
我不想走回家
湯姆是一位老人，他喜歡在晚飯后到大街上散步，在7點回來睡覺。
但是，今天晚上一輛小汽車停在他家門前，湯姆在一位警察的幫助下走下汽車。警察告訴湯姆的妻子：“這位老人在街上迷路了，他讓我用汽車送他回來。”
警察走后：“湯姆，你每天都到那條街上散步，但是今天你迷路了，你怎么了?”
這位老人像孩子般的笑道：“我迷路了?我是不想走路回家。”
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