導語：搞笑話劇劇本也有英文版的，大家是不是很想知道呢？下面小編為你整理的搞笑英語話劇劇本，希望對你有所幫助！

　　搞笑英語話劇劇本：

　　第一幕：決戰紫荊城之顛

　　旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .

　　Birdsaredancinginthecold .

　　Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .

　　Windiscominginsilence.

　　Another mysteriousmanapproaches .

　　Y與X相遇。

　　X:oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !

　　Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.

　　X:Excuseme, whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?

　　Y:ha ha ,Iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I’mthemostfamous-------YeGucheng. Whoareyou?

　　X:Iamximenchuixue.

　　Y驚訝：Ar, ximenchui xue?

　　X:Yes,whatiswrong?

　　Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts?

　　X:Great, youknowme !

　　Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’tkillme! letmeyougo!

　　X:No, Imustkillyou !

　　Y:Idon''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!

　　X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?

　　Y突然站起冷冷的說：Don''''''''t forceme!

　　X:Pardon!

　?。╕拿出一袋牛奶）

　　X搶過牛奶：milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?

　　Y:pleasedrinkit!

　　X喝完牛奶：Thanks, ha,ha

　　Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?

　　X:Sure, must! milkismilk.

　　Y（惱怒+冷酷）：Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?

　　X:I’msureIwon’t!

　　Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!

　　X捂著肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !

　　Y大笑：HaHa……

　　X可憐狀： help! help! Whereisthewashroom?

　　Y:What ?

　　X:Toliet?

　　Y:What ?

　　X:The "WC"?

　　Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!

　　X:Thanks,byebye.

　　Y掏出紙屑吹：Thisisgenuirnesnow!

　　H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!

　　Y:Whoareyou?

　　H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?

　　Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin"WC" now,ha……

　　H驚訝：Nowyouarethebestintheworld!

　　Y:Youareright!

　　H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?

　　Y:Yes,It’sverygood.

　　H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking!

　　Y:Ok,Let’s go!

　　第二幕：無間道

　　H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指Y） thisisyegucheng.

　　K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.

　　H走到Y前，《婚禮進行曲》起，H神甫狀：Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?

　　Y: Yes,Ido.

　　K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音樂停）

　　X唱著上：Onlyyou……（看到戒子） thisringshouldbemine!

　　K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?

　　Y急切： king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi（維語再見）

　　K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ?

　　Y:How clever……

　　X冷酷：yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething!

　　Y抱X的腿：oldbrother ! Forgiveme!

　　X:Forgiveme? Why?

　　Y: Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit. Ifthegodgivemeantherchance, I’lltellyou"I love you",Iftheremustbea limited period,Ihopeitisthousandyear!

　　X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s"WC"!

　　Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.（Y又拿出一袋牛奶）

　　X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!（我愛你的意思）

　　K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou?

　　X:Youarestupid! Itmeans"I love you".

　　K:Don’t saythat"you love me". I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!

　　X:What? （側耳裝著聽不到） You---kill----me?come, come…（X上去抓住K）

　　K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!

　　X:Howcanyoukillme? haha……

　　Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0（X捂著肚子，蹲下）

　　K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou

　　haveavacation.

　　Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.

　　K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha……小品劇本大全www.coffbar.com

　　Y:Hahaha-----

　　H:Where’ssomewhere?

　　K:What?

　　Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s"WC"?

　　X:Yes,I……I…… do.

　　H頂著搖頭：X,no, no, youcan’tgotoLady’s "WC". Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!

　　X: whatifI’mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !

　　K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady’s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !

　　H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !

　　K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?

　　H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng------the wifeofX .I’maspy.

　　K驚訝： !you---you---YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ?

　　Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! （輕聲說）Xwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .

　　H撲倒在X的身邊：X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning !

　　K:what amoving story !I was impressed !

　　Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !

　　H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume !

　　（H忽然將一把匕首插進Y的心臟，K嚇跑。音樂《再見，警察》起）

　　Y痛苦狀：don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you------help me . I’ll never dothat again !（Y死，音樂停）

　　（X咳，H撲到身邊，電影《我的父親母親》原聲音樂起）

　　H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .

　　X:gohome ! ?

　　H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !

　　X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor… promise meyou will survive… that youwillnevergiveup… nomatter what happens… no matter howhopeless… promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.

　　H: I promise .

　　X:Never let go .

　　H:Ipromise . Iwill never let go ,

　　X.I''''ll never letgo.（X死）

　　H:be alive !yeah , bealive ! bealivewithout ahendance !lifecanbechanceliketimecangotoback . thereisbeatifulsnowbutinsping , solifecancomefromthebeginning ! （H自刎，艱難的爬到X身邊死。音樂停。）